Slain by Elf

Entering the psyker transport now lodged in the space hulk, we get a reappearance of a ghostly girl. She starts talking to us, mostly inconsequential ramblings, and asks, 'You're not from The Inquisition, are you?'

'Why, ye...'

'...You'd better not be.' That sounds ominous. It's good I was interrupted, or we'd have been rumbled for sure. For now, we keep quiet.

The ghostly girl leads us to a large chamber in the ship, where from every direction approach apparitions, the undead spirits of psykers who became encapsulated in this hulk, never reaching their destination of feeding the God Emperor with their energies. At least, that's what I think they are, as before we are even properly introduced Dariel opens his big mouth, completely forgetting the past five minutes. 'We are from The Inquisition! Give us the Luminous Reproach!'

We wake up in a different chamber, seemingly uninjured but with a fate point permanently burnt. The last moment we remember is the ghosts swarming us and there being nothing we can do about it. And it seems that during the scuffle half our weapons have been irrepairably destroyed.

A benevolent voice can be heard. 'Would you like to take that ba-'

'Nope!' Thanks for considering it, at least. The adventure skips a few pages, and we dust ourselves off to face the final encounter with no allies, no answers, and little more than some knuckle dusters. It's going to be epic!

'Drop your weapons and no one will be hurt!', shouts Matthias towards the unidentifed but on fire figures in front of us.

'We surrender!' The only person of the four not engulfed in flames is clearly intimidated by my keen senses and rather vicious flamer, but perhaps not finding Matthias's sense of humour to be appropriate right now.

The tech-priest, as it turns out he is, also doesn't take kindly to my command to 'throw down your arm!', but it's always going to be a tough crowd when you've set them on fire.

Hang on, a tech-priest? Once we put out the flaming bodies, one of them unfortunately extinguishing naturally after exhausting the combustible flesh on the victim, we find out what the four of them are doing here. 'We're with the Inquisition', says the leader, 'we've been sent here to recover the Luminous Reproach.' Oops.

Working our way deeper in to the space hulk, away from the slavering warp beasts that killed the unnamed Space Marine, we find ourselves facing a rune-covered black ship, one Mordecai recognises. This kind of ship ferries psykers to be sacrificed to the God Emperor, the carved runes designed to suppress psychic energies.

Whilst the imposing ship holds the attention of my fellow acolytes my assassin training kicks in. I spot some shadowy figures lurking by the hull, two on one side of the corridor of stone we're in, and two on the other. My instincts are to pull out a weapon and blast them.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that unidentified targets exist in a state of superposition, the waveform of friend or foe collapsed by the actions we take. If we challenge them to identify themselves then they will be foes, who will proceed to attack. If we shoot first, they will turn out to be valuable allies. I know this, but I would rather shoot allies than be ambushed again on this mission, hence my duty to open fire.

I eschew my first choice of weapon as being rather less suitable for the situation than my specially trained-for flamer. Rather than having to choose a single target and try to bark out positions of the 'enemy' to my fellow acolytes, the flamer will hit them all as well as shed some light on matters. I pull out the weapon and, getting a surprise action, spew fiery death towards the four figures. Surprise!

The flamer is rather more impressive than I first thought. The twenty-metre range is huge, considering it hits everything within that range and in a thirty-degree cone, and that it does so without requiring a ballistics skill check. It's an automatic hit, but one that can be avoided by a successful agility check by each target, although cover offers no protection.

If the first agility check is failed and the target cannot avoid the flames a second agility check is needed to be made or the target is also on fire. That sounds pretty bad to start with, and it only gets worse. A target on fire must make a willpower check on his turn or can only run around screaming, or, as we decided, try to put out the flames. Putting out the flames requires a difficult agility check, which if they've failed the previous two doesn't bode well. On top of that, at the start of the turn the target takes one level of fatigue for being on fire, which adds a -10 modifier to all checks.

The flames shoot out of my weapon, expanding in its cone to fill the entire cavern by the time it reaches the ship and the targets hiding behind rocks some eighteen metres away. Only one of the figures is able to avoid the fiery doom, the three of them that get hit also being set on fire. I release the trigger to see them run around screaming, rolling around in the dust trying to subdue the flames, and the only target not hit abandons any attempt to ambush us to instead help his colleagues in their efforts to put out the fires.

Clearly this is the best 200 XP I have ever spent. If only they were actually hostile and not potential allies.

'Let's get a recap of the last session. Who remembers what happened?'

'We found the sword and completed the adventure.'

'Okay. If any of you can tell me where you found it I'll award the XP and we can finish the adventure.'

'In a stone!'

'In a skeleton's hand!'

'You're both wrong. So you're standing in a cave...'

'...wondering where we got this sword.'

'But no longer wondering who's dying before the end of the adventure.'

Not long after facing the piratical Eldar we encounter a couple more warp beasts. Those of us who aren't feared in to fleeing make quick work of the doggies, as they appear at sufficient distance for guns to rip through them before they close to biting range. A few dozen warp beasts apparently nearby take exception to our treatment of their brethren, though, and a wave of them flows towards us in a way that only plot points can.

Our Deathwatch Space Marine guardian orders us down a side corridor as he stands his ground, pulling up the elaborately decorated bolt pistol he used to great effect against the previous two beasts, and which Matthias had his eyes on. As we pelt down the corridor, obviously leaving the Brother Sergeant in his final stand, Matthias can't help but think of the loss. 'No, not the bolt pistol, I wanted that!'

'This is his heroic death', chastises Dariel, 'don't mock Agadoo'.

'We're not mocking him, you are.'

'I'm not mocking him! How can you say that?'

'You don't even remember his name.'

'Oh. What is his name?'

'Well, it's not 'Agadoo'.' And so the Deathwatch Space Marine will be remembered for his selfless actions in service to the Inquisition, but perhaps not as Brother Sergeant Agamorr.

Pushing deeper in to the space hulk briefly separates us from Brother Sergeant Agamorr, our Death Watch Space Marine guardian. His hulking size, exaggerated by power armour, keeps him on the other side of a rather small door whilst we scout ahead. Brother Sergeant could bash his way in, but we'd rather not attract too much attention to ourselves until we know what we're facing.

What we're facing turns out to be a piratical Eldar, thankfully without any warp beasts, but a psychic grenade still manages to spook our psyker in to running scared. I ready my twin chain axes, only moving between cover to start with to give my companion acolytes the chance to unload their guns in to the Eldar before I get in their way, I still wanted to watch since I was curious to see how far does a 9mm bullet travel before it drops.

Matthias takes aim with his bolt pistol and squeezes the trigger. Despite the undisputed power of bolt weapons and the devastation they can cause, even Matthias wasn't expecting a single shot to rip through the target, punching a hole in the Eldar's face where his nose used to be, ripping off an arm, and sliding the tattered corpse backwards on a film of its own blood.

As Matthias tries to understand the power he holds in his hand, Dariel casually walks up to look at the broken Eldar body, autocannon barrel smoking from being fired on full automatic seconds ago, about the same time as Matthias fired. Dariel let loose ten rounds and scored seven hits, the final three slamming in to only a corpse. Bolt pistols may not be quite so scary as we imagined, but this remains a lesson in taking care when facing automatic weapons.

'I have a laser thingy on my thingy, so does that give me thingy to my thingy?'

'It's hard to say.'

Boarding the space hulk isn't so bad, there's even a breathable atmosphere. It's a bit parky, though, and no powered systems to heat up the amalgamation of ships or even provide much light. We are relying on our own instruments to help guide us.

The choice of docking platform is an old imperial ship, lost to the warp some time ago, which gives us a fairly standard schematic to work through first. Nothing seems terribly amiss to start with, until Dariel asks me 'why are your pants bleeping?'

Alas, it isn't 'because it's the future!', as Moredcai suggests, but the motion sensor I clipped to my belt is detecting bodies other than our own. I have just enough time to bark a direction before three monstrous beasts from the warp are bounding our way.

I can't quite get to grips with the sight of a huge dog missing its skin, or another apparently made out of smoke and fire, and stand shocked for a few moments. I cope a little better than Matthias, who drops to his knees and starts puking, but Mordecai's familiarity with the warp has him acting normally, which is just as well when one of the beasts leaps up to gnaw on his neck.

I snap out of my shock quickly and ready a weapon, but Matthias isn't quite so lucky. After losing both his breakfasts his stomach cramps limit him to half-actions, and as he dropped everything on seeing the beasts his first action is to pick up his gun again. But seeing Mordecai in melee combat with a beast, and me joining with my mono-sword, he drops the gun again and takes his next half-action to ready some brass knuckles, to at least be threatening.

And what a threat those brass knuckles are. The vomit-stained, wobbly Matthias is apparently much more of a threat to the beast than Mordecai is a tasty snack, and despite my hitting the beast with my sword the warp hound turns to attack Matthias instead. Maybe he was better off being sick.

Our combined attack on the warp beasts sees them defeated, if you can call it a combined attack when our accompanying space marine swats each of them aside with his lightning hammer. But for a first fight on a space hulk, and an introduction to monsters from the warp, it could have gone a lot worse. And with a couple of hours deeper to tread it probably will.

Minding our own business, a squad of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers arrive. As imposing as they look, Dariel puts it in to perspective. 'We've no worries about being shot', he murmurs, referring to their notorious aiming abilities. Luckily, they aren't here to shoot us, instead informing us that our services are required.

A quick shuttle trip in to orbit and we are docking with a seriously impressive military cruiser. Our briefing is then held with a seriously impressive Deathwatch space marine. For some reason Mordecai keeps thinking 'we could have him', although I'm not sure why we'd want to.

A space hulk has been spotted. It's not just in the system but headed directly for the planet, a circumstance that has never been recorded before. Normally it would simply be destroyed, but there are intriguing signals being emitted from within the hulk that suggest an ancient inquisitor may be found there. We have fifteen minutes to get to the hulk, determine the source of the signals, and leave again before it is blown out of the sky to prevent its devastating the planet.

'Fifteen minutes?!'

Fifteen hours, and at least we're paying attention. The good news is that the space marine will be accompanying us, which at least gives us a pilot. The better news is that we have as much military equipment and weapons at our disposal as we can carry, although we will probably have to give it back if we return.

Armed to the gills, we board our drop ship and head towards the space hulk codenamed Twilight, unsure quite what to expect when we board her.

Theodosia is waiting for the acolytes. He's not really expecting them, and actually surprised to see them still alive after sending hired guns to kill them, but they have just blown a security door off its hinges and walked in to his secret basement. Now he's going to do his best to make sure they don't leave.

The metal monk whips his bolt pistol forwards and shoots, as he runs up the wall to disorientate the acolytes. But all that comes from his pistol is a clicking sound, no rounds firing, as his first shot in the combat jams his gun. The acolytes grin at his misfortune, feeling that they are fated to be victorious.

Theodosia is only too aware of how long it takes to clear a weapon jam, and doesn't want to spend that time retreating or being vulnerable, especially as he has back-up weapons. As the acolytes let forth their first volley of pistol fire, the monk leaps down from the wall drawing his two power blades, both thrumming in to life. It just so happens that Theodosia is as proficient with melee fighting as he is at range, much to the acolytes' despair.

Xerxes the tech-priest is viciously slaughtered, pysker Mordecai has an arm unwittingly amputated, and noble scum Dariel has a searing wound inflicted on one of his arms, fusing the fingers together and knocking him unconscious from the shock. Only Matthias gets away, fleeing the fearful scene, but able at least to recover his sense and call in the Inquisition to put and end to Theodosia's operation.

Mordecai and Dariel are recovered by the Inquisition but Xerxes's body isn't found. The church is destroyed, Theodosia is hunted off-world, and the planetary manufacture of farcosia, a drug made from psykers, is halted. With some recuperation and bionic limb replacements it looks like the acolytes will be ready for a new mission for the Inquisition soon enough.