Slain by Elf

Krunch the Barbarian thinks he has gone as far with his barbarianism as he can, and chooses to train more as a Rogue from now on. He's quite excited by the opportunities this will allow. 'I can be stealthy now, if I want to be.'

Pigeonhole, our actual Rogue, is happy to offer some advice. 'What armour do you have?'

'Hmm, half plate. I may need to change that.'

'No, keep it.'

'But we have the potential to be all stealthy!'

'Yes, that's why you should keep the armour.'

'But wouldn't I be heard?'

'Making you the main target. Sounds perfect.'

'Which one shall I attack?'

'It's not a difficult choice, you only have two targets.'

'Three.'

'Two. That's me, and you know it.'

'I'm doing a Reckless Attack.'

'Okay, three'.

'I quaff a potion of Heroism!

'...not that I need it, you understand.'

'I'll move back and eady an action to attack the first thing that I can see in range.'

'Hey, woah, hold up!'

'Ah, yes, you're all in front of me. The first troglodyte that comes in to range.'

'Oh ye of little faith.'

'But I'm a cleric!'

And all I got was this lousy Inspiration.

We're in the Underdark, on a foldable ship, with the Demogorgan roaring in the distance but getting closer. We may need a burst of speed soon. Muffin has an idea about that. 'I'm going to go to the back of the boat, and face out from the back of the boat as best as possible.'

''As best as possible'? Do you think you'll have trouble doing that?'

'...and get ready to cast Gust of Wind to get us out of here.'

'I've only been the captain of this vessel for a couple of days, granted, but I think you'd have more success if you pointed the Gust of Wind at the sail. It's kinda how they work.'

Something has been stolen from me, and I intend to find out who has it. My suspicions lie with our rogue, so I turn to him and 'I cast Zone of Truth!'

'You don't have Zone of Truth', says Krunch.

'Well, don't tell him that, magic is mostly showmanship anyways. Okay, gnome, you're now in the Zone of Truth!'

'No I'm not.'

'Okay, that's true. So... maybe the Zone of Truth is working. Gnome, do you have my gem?'

'No.'

'Hmm, technically it's not my gem, so the question was worded poorly.' The Zone of Truth is a fickle mistress and turns out to be more difficult to manage than I realised. I let the matter lie a little longer, which worked out well when a bandit tried to stab the gnome in his sleep later that night to get the gem.

The duergar have been fighting the gnomes in this enclave for flimsy reasons, and although we've managed to calm the situation somewhat, tensions are high. Trying to deal with the duergar boss isn't helping matters either, as he is being pretty obstinate.

As we leave the duergar quarter, to negotiate with the gnomes, we spy two duergar guards on the bridge, placed there to prevent the gnomes from seeking help from other factions. This rankles me a little, so I suggest that 'maybe we should get rid of those guards, just slaughter them and throw them off the bridge'.

'I think we need more motivation than that', is probably a wise reply, but a bit unexpected from our neutral half-orc barbarian.

Our barbarian has been poisoned, which is causing him some consternation, not least of which because 'we don't even know how the poison has been administered', making it difficult to avoid repeated doses.

'Up the bumhole, I imagine.'

'I think I would have noticed that.'

'I'm not saying that's what happened, I am just imagining it.'