Slain by Elf

Despite our best efforts at being completely rubbish detectives, we manage to locate the stolen dragon's egg. We should probably write down what we did so that we can repeat our successful methods next time. Something about talking to people, I think.

We bargain with the thief to sell us the egg, but with no intention of paying for stolen property. He doesn't cotton on, and takes us to view the egg and confirm it's real. It is, and we nick it back, with Aggar's plan working to lock the thief in his own shack of stolen goods.

We turn to leave, to take the egg back to its dragon owner, but 'before we go, I want to find a small hole in the shack and...'

'Dammit, Salvador. How many times? No glory holing'

'...and summon the centipede.'

'What did I just say?'

After returning from a negotiation, we update the sergeant of the fort with our progress, after which he invites us to share a game of Conquest with him. Conquest is a strategy game where players pit their wits as commanders against each other, as well as test out actual strategies in a vague representation of a simulation. Sure, why not.

The board is laid out to represent the nations, the troops positioned as they are currently known to be. There is, after all, a war being waged. The sergeant takes his turn and rolls the dice. He is being opposed by Salvador, who is playing our side not for any tactical advantage but because he is the only person who knows how to roll dice. His first turn rolls him a natural 20.

The sergeant's forces are pushed back a little. He adjusts and makes a new roll. Salvador does the same and, would you believe it, another 20! The sergeant's forces are taking some punishment now, but it's not the end of the encounter. He makes his move, takes his roll. Salvador rolls a third natural 20!

This is starting to look bad. Not for the sergeant, who has pretty much already lost, but for us. We're really not looking forward to Salvador mistaking this fluke for gaming prowess, and his recounting a story of an epic victory to us at any opportunity, in true Arnold Rimmer fashion.

Maybe we shouldn't be pairing up ugly and uglier to get information from someone, but we are. Let's just not let our expectations get too high.

Thrak and Salvador enter the shop and approach the owner, hoping to get some information about a stolen dragon's egg. Surprisingly, they make some progress, getting the owner to admit to having black market connections, and Salvador pushes to get some names.

Salvador offers a bribe. '200 gold pieces now, 300 more if the information leads to us getting the egg.'

'Okay, I can be persuaded. Now, I don't know their names, but you should be able to find them by their description. A gnome and a human...'

Oh dear.

'...have shown interest in finding the egg. They'd be the people to ask about this.'

Oh dear, oh dear. Salvador just handed over 200 gold pieces to learn that the other members of his party are on the same quest. Needless to say, we already knew this. Our ruse to keep our affiliation unknown has worked against us. It would take a half-wit not to realise what's just happened. Meanwhile, Thrak continues to listen to the descriptions the shopkeeper is giving, taking notes.

Worse still, if we do end up recovering the dragon's egg, we'll technically owe the shopkeeper that further 300 gold.

'Salvador can do the talking, as he has a better charisma score than me.'

'No I don't', says Salvador, looking at his character sheet. 'Do I?'

'Mine's 6.'

'Holy crap, I do. It's 8.'

Negative ability modifiers for both! Why are either of them trying to get some important information from an NPC? The situation might get uglier than it already is.

'You and, um, I'm sorry, I've forgotten your names.

'That's Thrak, and he's Hodor', says Salvador.

'Hodor?!' says our cleric, somewhat insulted.

'See? It must be right.'

It's after the fight with the Erinyes devil, and most people are badly hurt. That includes our cleric, who is only still alive thanks to some fortune, and a passing stranger who we were able to persuade to use our healing wand a couple of times. 'Can I get some healing?', asks Thrak, now that the cleric is conscious to hear him.

'You'll regain your level in hit points overnight. How short does that leave you?'

'Well, I am a dwarf. Have I done that one before?' Regardless, Thrak gets some healing. 'Great! I'm fully fit and raring to go! ...to bed. I've just realised it's the middle of the night.'

We find out that the dragon head snatched from us through a portal was taken to a place called Viper Swamp. We are vaguely familiar with it as a location, being about a day's travel away, but know little about it itself.

Duncan does some research when we get back to town, and comes back excited with what he's learnt.

'I've found out that the swamp is wet and marshy.'

Well, it looks like we're now fully prepared for the adventure ahead of us.

Stalking someone who is known to have been looking for us, Salvador gives away his position by some lacklustre hiding. The woman confronts him, and rather than running away Salvador decides to hear what she has to say for a moment. This turns out to be not quite the best plan ever, particularly as he had already witnessed her cast 'charm monster' on an unwitting citizen. Why not the more usual 'charm person' we don't yet know.

Salvador brings the woman back to our inn, where Thrak and Aggar are enjoying their evening meal. They are not terribly impressed with Salvador's decision-making processes, and wonder if something is wrong.

'Does Salvador look normal? Oh, sorry, that's a leading question.'

'That's okay. His behaviour is consistent with his previous behaviour.' Fair enough.

As it turns out, Salvador has indeed been charmed, which explains the woman's choice of spell. 'Did she have to cast 'charm monster' on Salvador because he committed genocide?'

We travel to the north of the city to meet with our cleric's mentor. As we arrive, other guests are leaving through another door, and we catch but mere glimpses of them.

A couple are half-orcs. The third is human, but only just. He has tentacles on his arm, and teeth growing out of one of his cheeks.

'I'll study them closely', says Thrak, 'so I'll recognise them if I seem them again'. Good thinking.

Investigating the tieflings' huts in the swamp finds something bubbling in a pot over a wide hearth. Glass phials lie around, with glassblowing equipment nearby. Something smells disgusting, and it could be whatever is in the pot.

'Maybe our wizard should look at this.'

I make a Knowledge (Arcana) roll, getting a very respectable 10 on the check.

'There's something bubbling in a pot over a wide hearth. Glass phials lie around, with glassblowing equipment nearby. Something smells disgusting, and it could be whatever is in the pot.'

'Thanks, wizard.'

'Hey, the only reason I'm in the party is to repeat what the GM tells us. I have one job to do, it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it.